Tag Archives: Marquis

Humorous Jason Marquis Timeline

The following is a post from a co-worker who has the unfortunate responsibility of owning Jason Marquis on his fantasy team this season.  He tried make light of the situation with a humorous biographical timeline:

Just for fun, let’s take a look at JMarq’s career arc:
August 21, 1978: Jason Scott Marquis is born in Manhasset, NY. His ERA immediately balloons to 4.50
Summer, 1991: A 12 year-old Marquis throws a no-hitter against Canada in the Little League World Series. Elsewhere, a 5 year-old Matt Koziol moves Marquis up on his draft board.
Spring 1995 & 1996: Marquis pitches the Tottenville High School Pirates to consecutive New York City Public Schools Athletic League titles. The rumor that he defeated the Pittsburgh Pirates both years is later debunked.
1996 (presumably late Spring): Anthony McCarron of the New York Daily News touts Marquis as “perhaps the city’s best high school player since … Manny Ramirez.” There is a reason you have never heard the name Anthony McCarron before.
June 4, 1996: The Atlanta Braves take Marquis with the 35th overall pick of the MLB Amateur Draft. Somewhere in California, 53rd Round pick Barry Zito (1,586 overall) is overheard saying: “Really?

No, THIS is how many times better I am than Jason Marquis.

June 30, 2009: Marquis pitches a 2-hit shutout against the then Major League Leading Dodgers. Rob Neyer of ESPN describes Marquis that night as “Bob Gibson, Orel Hershiser, and Greg Maddux all rolled into one.” Elsewhere, Bob Gibson, Orel Hershiser, and Greg Maddux simultaneously suffer minor strokes.

July 5, 2009: Phillies manager Charlie Manuel selects Marquis to the N.L. All-Star Team. To make up for this blunder, Manuel never puts Marquis in the game.
April 18, 2010: Marquis allows 7 Earned Runs on 4 hits and does not record an out in the first inning against the Milwaukee Brewers. Chien-Ming Wang breathes easier, knowing his eventual spot in the rotation will be that much more secure.

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